(Book image from Amazon.com)
Successful Women Think Differently by Valorie Burton is the book I needed to read in this particular season of my life – This season where I decided to fully embrace who I really am – with my uniqueness, my imperfections, my strengths and my opportunities for improvement. It took me a long time to realize how much what I was seeing or hearing around me impacted the way I lived my life and did things.
I spent most of my life trying to please everyone, and almost forgetting what mattered to me. I let others’ definition of success impact the way I defined success myself. However, through some soul searching, I came to realize that all this time I was not being true to myself. I was only trying to be what others wanted me to be. This led me to make some drastic changes in my life including: what I choose to see or hear and the people and things I let into my life.
When I picked up Successful Women Think Differently and started reading it, I quickly realized that this would be a book I would read very slowly; a book I would want to make sure I get everything out of. From the first pages, I knew this book was going to change my life forever. And it sure did!
Who is Valorie Burton?
Valorie Burton is a bestselling author and a Certified Personal and Executive Coach. She has written nine books, including Successful Women Think Differently and Happy Women Live Better. She is also the founder of the Coaching and Positive Psychology Institute (The CaPP Institute) – The institute provides training to established and aspiring coaches.
I first discovered her on social media; one of my good friends recommended I attend her Coach Training Intensive program. I have been following her since. Her first book I read was What’s Really Holding You Back? which I highly recommend as well. But, I wanted to talk a little bit about Successful Women Think Differently.
My take on Successful Women Think Differently
In Successful Women Think Differently, Valorie Burton lays out 9 habits that will make any woman happier, healthier, and more resilient. She uses examples of women she encountered throughout her journey as a coach to describe the thought process of successful women and how they behave in general.
“Successful women are generous. They are givers who believe not only in themselves, but in the potential of others. And as they succeed, they bring others along with them.” ~ Successful Women Think Differently, Valorie Burton.
We live in a world where women tend to compete instead of lifting each other up. We have this misconception that sharing what we know with others somehow takes something away from us. Or we are just afraid that by teaching others what we know, they might end up better than us. However, we are all called to walk in different lanes in this life. There’s room for each and every one of us to shine. And there is no way to better ourselves than by helping others. As you help other women, you discover what you are truly good at and what you need to improve on. In Successful Women Think Differently, Valorie Burton reminds us that successful women are generous, givers, and believe in the potential of other women!
She defines success as “a harmony of purpose, resilience, and joy. In other words, success is living your life’s purpose and embracing resilience and joy as you do.”
The definition of success is and should be different for each of us. We all have our unique God-given purpose. And even though it may seem like two people have the same purpose (e.g., empowering women), each of them will carry out that purpose based on their unique gifts, talents and strengths.
What I loved the most about reading this book are the coaching questions within and at the end of each chapter, which helped me do some soul-searching and think about aspects/episodes of my life I would not have otherwise thought of. This exercise was tough at times as it brings out lots of memories – some good, some not so good. It is an emotional process, but you definitely feel good after going through it.
“Often, our best aha! moments come from observing others. However, it can be easy to simply try to replicate what works for someone else without acknowledging that the other person was tapping into an innate strength that may not mirror our own.” ~ Successful Women Think Differently, Valorie Burton.
This really resonated with me. They are women out there who inspire me a lot by how they carry their life-purpose. However, I’ve found myself in situations where I was so inspired that I thought “I finally found my purpose! This is what I need to do too!” As I stated above, we may have the same purpose, but will carry it in very different ways based on our unique gifts, talents and strengths. How many women started a business solely based on the fact that another woman is doing it and it is working for her, only to fail miserably a few months into it?
“Successful women don’t ignore the obvious. They know where they are weak and they look for ways to shore up those weaknesses by finding others whose strengths they can tap into. When possible, they hire out weaknesses so that they can spend their time focused on the areas in which they excel.” ~ Successful Women Think Differently, Valorie Burton.
Yes, successful women are not perfect. They surround themselves with people who can make them better. I love this quote from Bishop T.D. Jakes: If you’re the smartest person in your circle, you’re in the wrong circle – you’ve outgrown it. It’s time to move to the next level.
Successful Women Think Differently is a must read for any woman on the path to defining success her own way. I highly recommend it and will definitely refer back to it as needed.
Until next time…